I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
