WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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