You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
