One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
