So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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