I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
this will be a night to untag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize