Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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