I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
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God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
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This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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