sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
