i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize