There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
