the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize