check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
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