Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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