Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
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