North Korea, Best Korea!
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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