Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
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