He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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