Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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