All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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