i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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