So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Randomize
