He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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