i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
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just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
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I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!