you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.