I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
