I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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