I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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