K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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