whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Randomize
