so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
