Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
