Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Randomize
