Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
