The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Randomize
