Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
