The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
