So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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