Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
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