I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize