I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
organizing the empties. That sober.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize