So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
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OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
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