Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
