Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
