and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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