woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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