love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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