and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
