i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
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