so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
