No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
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