just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
4 words: hood of his car
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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