Kiss
Puke
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
