Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize