I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
