video games are the ultimate cock blocker
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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