it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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