Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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