Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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